How to Put Family First in a Divorce


While marriage brings together two houses and two individuals to share one journey, divorce divides that union so that they may once again lead their separate lives. In reality, returning to the lives they led before marriage is rarely the case. A wedded life weaves together finances, career trajectories, and most importantly creates a family that relies on both parties for its health and happiness.

We can all agree that family is pretty important, but their needs are often caught in the crossfire of divorce negotiations. Much of this stems from the litigious approach of the two attorneys who represent either party. That doesn’t mean the attorneys are the cause of the strife, because essentially they are just doing their job. Both attorneys must uphold their fiduciary duty to represent their client’s individual best interests and as a result the process often becomes combative. This is how many of us have heard our friend’s notorious divorce stories that sounded more like an armed battle than an attempt to part ways.

Seeking an Easier Divorce Process for Our Families and Ourselves

Some things can’t be separated so easily if at all. As a result, more and more couples are seeking a different approach to divorce that flips the script and puts their family’s needs before their own. Collaborative divorce can do just that. In a nutshell, collaborative divorce provides couples with an opportunity to address communal needs that will survive the marriage.

This process still includes their personal attorneys but this time the attorneys are trained in collaborative divorce practices to help them accommodate for a pro-community outcome rather that pro-individual. Neutral parties such as a mental health specialist and financial professional also actively participate in defining a clear plan that addresses the concerns of the family. Collaborative divorce practices have been effective in reducing stress, time, and cost for the couples who choose this path.

How Collaborative Divorce Works at a Financial Firm

While Tobias Financial Advisors are not collaborative divorce facilitators, our CEO and Senior Financial Advisor, Marianela Collado is leading our team to better understand and help support the men and women who have elected to leverage the collaborative divorce process for their families. As a member of the National Association of Divorce Professionals (NADP) and through her involvement with the  Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals (FACP), Nela feels it’s an important avenue to educate couples and families as they face separation.

Whether it’s a traditional or collaborative divorce, we hear from many clients and prospective clients who have similar questions: What are the next steps? Can I still retire when I want to? Will I be able to support my children’s education? Tobias Financial Advisors is able to pick up where a divorce financial professional left off and help the client regain autonomy. We’re also capable of being sensitive to your family’s needs and have the tools to help you navigate these new waters while still supporting the decisions you and your ex-spouse have already made.

If you and your spouse are looking for a non-traditional route to help support you and your family through divorce, we encourage you to do your research and ask your attorneys if they’ve been trained in collaborative divorce practices. For your convenience we’ve provided additional resources for you to learn about collaborative divorce practices and professionals in Florida:

 

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